To Matt Borges and the Ohio Republican Party,
I received with interest, although not a little puzzlement, your recent email to me. In it you note proudly that Ohio added 5,300 new jobs on June and 174,700 since January 2011 when a Republican reclaimed the governorship. May I point out to you that in the same period the nation as a whole added 162,000 jobs in June and more than 5.4 million since January 2011. This means that Ohio is actually performing well below the national average, given its population. Moreover, I note that unemployment has fallen more slowly under a Republican administration than during the window where both the presidency and governorship were in Democrat hands.
The job numbers are, in fact, a reason not to vote for the Ohio Republican party, let alone like you on Facebook or follow you on Twitter as you suggest. This is not very consequential of course, because you have already given me plenty of other reasons in this regard, most notably your refusal to accept the evidence of 97% of the scientific papers published over the last 20 years as to whether the burning of fossil fuels poses a threat to our future safety and enjoyment of the planet. Other reasons that spring to mind are your lack of concern about economic inequality and the damage you are doing to the education system on which Ohio’s future prosperity depends.
As you may have guessed, I am not in fact a Republican, which makes me puzzled as to why I am receiving your emails, of which this is not the first. Moreover, I am not named Janet, despite that being the moniker with which you address me. If I were named Janet, I would be even less likely to support you since I would probably have a personal, rather than merely a sympathetic, fear of your cruel attempts to remove (in that circumstance) my bodily autonomy.
However, the most surprising thing of all for me in finding myself on your email list is that I am not an Ohionian (is that the term?). Indeed I am neither an American resident nor citizen and have never visited Ohio in my life. I did not read your past emails as closely as this one, but I think some may have requested money from me. If so, I question whether this activity was even legal – liberal sites seeking money always indicated that those who are not citizens or green card holders may not contribute.
If your approach to generating a database is to randomly select email addresses from the Internet and then call them all Janet it does not surprise me that Obama so convincingly beat you at the last two presidential elections, despite Karl Rove’s refusal to accept the outcome – something he has no doubt had great practice in with his denial of clearly established science over a period of many years.
I note that the New York conservative movement also has my email address in their files, although they address me as Shaina. Perhaps you two could co-ordinate.
Whether or not you choose to keep me on your email list is a matter of no concern to me. Indeed your messages provide some light amusement. Furthermore, I am sure that my responses to the policies you have adopted will sink like a stone unmarked in the well of ignorance as the waters of denial close over it. Nevertheless I thought that I would inform you that I do hope one day to visit your great state. However, with so many to choose from on my next visit to America I think I will prefer to spend my job-creating tourist dollars in a part of the Union where government is in the hands of adults.